Visions of Rita Hayworth by Chall Gray
He had the idea to rearrange all of the electric poles of Endiscott to form a famous picture of Rita Hayworth (the one where she’s wearing a black evening dress and has her chin resting on the fist of her right hand as she stares off into the distance). It would be seen only by airplane pilots.
“This will make us into the premier vacation destination for pilots,” he boasted to me. I told him Marilyn Monroe might have more appeal. He didn’t listen. His predilection for Rita Hayworth bordered on unhealthy if you ask me. He wanted the whole thing to be a surprise for the mayor; he seemed to be under the impression that the mayor shared his ardor for Rita Hayworth.
Abel assembled a massive team of workers from all over, paying them exorbitant premiums, the result being that the work was to be completed in one night. They began their work shortly after dark on that fateful evening, each motion tinged with a surreptitious fervor, every worker equipped with the knowledge that it had to be finished before daybreak, none of them aware what the purpose of the project was.
The poles were extremely concentrated in some places, such as her hair or dress--only three of four feet apart in many cases. The work continued through the night and, at just after 4:30 a.m., the construction supervisor brought the news that they had finished. He was given his remuneration and in turn took leave of us.
Abel sat back in his chair. “You did it,” I said. “Sit back and envision it.” He leaned back even further, closing his eyes. A smile came upon his face. I noticed an erection forming. I became a little uncomfortable. I mean we weren’t that type of friends or anything. His face contorted with his climax. I rose, about to say that I would come back by later. He screamed in ecstasy. He fell back, out of the chair and onto the floor, now motionless.
I went over to him; sure enough, he was dead.
A victim of the joy that kills. In the morning the entire city was in upheaval, the mayor speaking of the misappropriation of some $14 million dollars, the possibly suspicious death of the Head Engineer, etc., etc. I left town before lunch. Sometimes I still wonder if they saw Rita, and if the airline pilots ever ended up flocking to Endiscott.
Chall Gray is a student, writer, and sexy young stud, living in Asheville, N.C. If he were writing this bio, no doubt, he would come up with several unique, multi-syllabic words to describe himself. But he's not writing this bio. AF is.
Chall needs to learn that, in the computer age, sentences are separated by only ONE space. Otherwise, he's remarkable, in that I called him yesterday asking for a submission, and I received TWO last night from him. Two submissions, one space.
posted by Edgy Mama | 9:30 AM
13 Comments:
From a friend:
"...and, in your defense, two spaces after
the period is only a sign you're steeped in literary tradition. We
must at least pretend we're still at the typewriter, or else blog-land
will take over the publishing industry (also why I refuse to read most of
the blogs you link me to), cheapening the craft even further. That's
as Republican as I can imagine."
I'm too old to change now Anne Fitten...
From the Chicago Manual of Style: The view at CMS is that there is no reason for two spaces after a period in published work. Some people, however—my colleagues included—prefer it, relegating this preference to their personal correspondence and notes. I’ve noticed in old American books printed in the few decades before and after the turn of the last century (ca. 1870–1930 at least) that there seemed to be a trend in publishing to use extra space (sometimes quite a bit of it) after periods. And many people were taught to use that extra space in typing class (I was). But introducing two spaces after the period causes problems: (1) it is inefficient, requiring an extra keystroke for every sentence; (2) even if a program is set to automatically put an extra space after a period, such automation is never foolproof; (3) there is no proof that an extra space actually improves readability—as your comment suggests, it’s probably just a matter of familiarity (Who knows? perhaps it’s actually more efficient to read with less regard for sentences as individual units of thought—many centuries ago, for example in ancient Greece, there were no spaces even between words, and no punctuation); (4) two spaces are harder to control for than one in electronic documents (I find that the earmark of a document that imposes a two-space rule is a smattering of instances of both three spaces and one space after a period, and two spaces in the middle of sentences); and (5) two spaces can cause problems with line breaks in certain programs.
So, in our efficient, modern world, I think there is no room for two spaces after a period. In the opinion of this particular copyeditor, this is a good thing.
Theseus,
You're 21. What are you talking about?
Okay - I've been doing two spaces for well over 20 years. My fingers are so used to it that I don't think there is any way I could stop! Glad my Dmin profs haven't noticed :)
And about the story - quite interesting. Always good to know what young men are thinking - usually pretty different from my usual thought patterns.
okay, this is probably venturing closer and closer to a grammatical shitstorm here,
but:
It is a natural and innate proclivity for me to use two spaces after a sentence; I do it intuitively and I do not end up with 1 or 3 as the CMS people say is wont to happen.
Also; I believe that in my (and this is obviously something that is personal to each writer) work I do want to sentences to be regarded as seperate entities that build upon themselves, but are differentiated. There are certain writers whose work looks good with transitions from one sentence to another that are minimized or nebulous, I do not think of my work this way. Especially in the last few months my work has tended towards a balanced dichotomy of short statemential sentences and longer, more expository, sentences. I like having two spaces as a vehicle of tone and pacing.
This is how I write. This is how I will continue to write. In the future if an editor asks me to change this it is something I will discuss with them and will depend on the story. Each story has its own tone and is thus more or less given to said change.
I have also been experimenting with some pieces in which I use 5 spaces after each sentence and a different style of paragraph break to convey the emotions of the narrator.
It is all subjective to the author, and I ask that everyone who reads this story remember that on my hard drive it has two spaces after each sentence.
chall s. gray
Let's get one thing straight - the proper style for the vast majority of published work is ONE SPACE between sentences. I've been writing for years and that's just the way it is.
Two spaces can be traced back to some far-sighted, uptight elementary school teacher you had, a bitter woman who also insisted you double-space every damn paper.
Two spaces is a waste of space, of paper.
Chall, what the work looks like pales in comparison to your words, the way your words are put together. It's your words that deliver the heft, the tone, the pacing of a story - not whether there are one or two spaces in between a period.
BTW Chall, it looked like you used one space between sentences in your comment here. What gives?
I'll add the caveat that with poetry, the one-space rule goes out the window. But poetry is a completely different form than fiction writing.
I used two in the comment, and I think caesura (pretty sure that's spelled right..ash?) can be used in fiction as well as poetry.
Look at Ulysses, Hopscotch, At Swim-Two-Birds, I Am Charlotte Simmons, or any number of other books that institute such things...
C
and I hate being in the "majority"...
Chall,
I'm not into conformity or majority either. On the other hand, I've seen good submissions thrown out for not following the publisher's directions--which usually involves single spacing between sentences. James Joyce was writing when the "old" style was the norm. And, I imagine, if you're Tom Wolfe, you can do whatever you want to.
BTW, I'm not sure who your "friend" is, but I think name-calling over grammatical issues is bad form.
Also, I'm with Ash in that most people are not going to notice whether or not you have one or two spaces between sentences, they will, however, notice the strength and power of your words.
One Space, Two Space, Red Space, Blue Space...
One or two it doesn't matter,
As long as it separates the chatter,
My words are still sweet,
Sweeter than cake batter,
But if I have to pick one or two,
I'll choose the latter.
Okay, I am no Seuss, nor am I a grammarian of any consequence and so I will just babble here because I enjoy watching my thoughts appear on screen.
Calling people Republican's isn't nice. Do people still use that word anymore? eeww
Also, the space thing? Sheesh. No one notices. No one cares but the writer - and I would think, as a reader, that the writer only cares if he's a pompous pain in the arse. Which, Chall, I know you're not. So, what gives?
From here it sounds like you're doing it just because you're being told not too. Which I've been more then guilty of on occasion. But that doesn't mean it's the right choice.
That said - you want your work published, you work within the publications guidelines until you are Tom Wolfe or James Joyce or whomever. As of now, your goal is not to show people how right you are, but how brillant your words are. They, by the way, are just as strong with one space between sentences.
Lastly, five spaces between sentences. Sounds more like a headache then a intriguing read. Especially if its prose you're talking about.
So, I suppose in the end, no matter how much I dislike agreeing with Ash, I'm firmly in the one space camp.
Why is it when I comment, conversation ends?
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